Rarely does a diseased person recognize their own infection, or at least not until it is far advanced.
I call this modern phenomenon the In-To-Me-See-Dis-Ease
There appears to be an ever expanding self-justifying belief that in most, if not all things, there is a right way.
The problem with right ways, and with wrong ways for that matter, is that by applying such absolutes we limit our ability to comprehend the view of reality that another person holds.
In order to learn about ourselves and any other person seems to me it is an imperative to be able to accept that their version of the world (however much you may disagree with it) is as valid as your own.
Only then can you validate them and hope that they in turn may learn to validate you
The wisdom I am learnig 'All people make sense, to themselves'
An individual holding a mostly static set of views (almost everyone in the western world, but who’s counting) holds themselves as the centre, with a reality that radiates out from them, or in to them.
Either way then it is seemingly simple to label and define their own personal view of that reality and the people and things populating it with a bunch of rights and wrongs
Today in the instant online culture that is becoming so pervasive the ability to justify and validate your world view exists like never before. No longer does an individual need to learn the art of persuasion toward or away from a way of thinking, nor even to find a listening ear.
Social media protocols are built on likes, and on ‘educated’ missives posted by anyone, anywhere, any time. What the heck is peer review anyway
There is no requirement whatsoever for supporting verification as to the providers competence. Let alone their qualification to approve of your version of right, let alone to have earned by study or personal experience your listening ear.
You can pretty much find agreeability to anything in the sub ether of that universe
This modern day version of reality invites a derogatory view of any other persons version of reality that is not either suitable in the moment or congruent with the view you hold, and leads to increasingly invalidating polarization and exponential increase in blaming as a mechanism to disable others and so avoid responsibility in self.
The alternative would be to acknowledge that your own core views may be wrong and so subject to constant review and critical change.
Ever wonder how things used to be?
In times past people attended to the wisdom of their elders, and in so doing ‘earned’ the chance to understand both opinion, and how opinion was achieved. More so many will attest that learning at the seat of older people is often a practice in the art of patience, a skill sorely lacking in today’s world
To amend our viewpoint to this ‘older world’ version also invites the possibility that there are often multiple versions of right, and of wrong, and that so ‘require’ the individual to be willing to accept differing and frequently changing perspectives
Here is a simple visual example
Two people record an image of the same external reality, the lighthouse shown.
I guess we might try and agree they have recorded the same image.
Nonetheless there are differences.
The photographers though snapping at the same moment were stood a foot or two apart.
One was taller, one had an aperture speed marginally faster.
And many other tiny but existent discrepancies.
Both of these images are ‘right’, or at the least neither image is wrong
So one image is more right than the other, they are neither one the same, nor superior, nor inferior
Accepting that your version of reality is simply the equal of any other persons is the first step on the path to truly relating to the people you meet.
As an aside it is also I suggest humbly a first step on the path to a life born of taking responsibility as opposed to blaming for a lack of achieving whatever you deem you deserve from this life - Looking back that does seem now an obvious path I strayed down for many decades!!
This does not require that you agree, simply that you are consciously aware
My suspicion is that when people start recognizing they are suffering from In-To-Me-See-Dis-Ease the world may go through some pretty sharp convulsions ........... mine sure has..
And as in recovery from any dis-ease a sudden and dramatic improvement............ again mine sure has...
So here is a fun way to tell if you too are suffering any symptoms
1. Did you agree with what I wrote?
2. Did you disagree with what I wrote?
3. Do you favor some other perspective?
4. Have you adopted this as a new or validating point of view?
5. Did you wonder at my qualification to issue such wisdom?
One of the chief masks to the In-To-Me-See-Dis-Ease is rush and hurry, and initially at least I have found qualifying equality a slow and patient undertaking.
So a good place to start is by slowing down..
If you dont already I would commend starting with this - Give yourself the gift of fifteen to thirty minutes every day.
Find a time and a place where you can enjoy stillness of body and mind, and if you do ... watch how that mind slows, and then starts to question the input
Tis just my thinking
David Jackman - MAY 2020